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One day in the suburbs of Inovenciachopartzheimeljecktinsachterwatzinjulit erpinsteigh, There was a young man. This young man's name was Joseph John Jack Jacob Jordan Josh Jeremiah Lackington, but he was known to his friends as "Arnold". One day, Arnold decided he was going to stare directly into the sun, to see just how much brightness his eyes could take before they scorched through his skull. Arnold started his stopwatch, and began to look directly at the sun...
3 Hours Later
Arnold finally looked down from the sun. As soon as he did, he pulled out a Swiss Army JL700, and he stabbed his right hand, causing him to die immediately. The reason for this, is because the Sun gods has sent him a video message while he was staring at the sun. When Arnold played the video, he saw 3 hours worth of a boring documentary on horses, followed by a 1960's tv program about how a ninja stormed a day care one day, severing every child's head as it passed. This intrigued Arnold to "bring down the knife".
He is now dead, and his body still lays on the same sidewalk, thought it has decayed and has become quite disgusting to look at. I mean seriously! Shouldn't someone cover that crap up?!??!